The Journey Toward My Roots

What could you possibly learn from a baby? In my experience interacting with my daughter Yosemite, the answer is a lot. For example, people have been saying, oh, she has your eyebrows, or she got your nose, or, and this is from my wife, she has such a bad attitude when she is hungry, just like you.

Mr. Toastmasters, fellow Toastmasters, and honored guests. It feels good to hear someone inherits something from you. Maybe not the bad attitude, but mostly everything else. In the other hand, I also inherit those features from other people in my family. I got my nose from my mom and my eyebrows definitely look like my uncle’s. Now I am intrigued, what else do I inherit from my family?

Last month, I had a short business trip to Vietnam. I managed to squeezed a few days to travel to my hometown, a little rural located in Northern Vietnam. In order to get there, I had to fly from Saigon to Hanoi, then rented a motorbike to go to my village in Nam Dinh, about 3 hours of driving away. I didn’t know anybody or how to get there. All I knew was the name of the village and how to locate where my great grandfather’s home used to be. Surprisingly, not only that I found the house, while wandering around the village I stumbled into the cemetery and found my great great grandfather’s tomb. When a woman saw me being by myself in the cemetery, she came and asked who I was. It turned out she knew who my great grandfather was was and took me to one of his nephews’ house.

That incident encouraged me to dig even deeper into my root. I searched through my old documents and found the family tree book my mom gave me 25 years ago. I eagerly read through every single page and learned a great deal about my village and ancestors. 8^th generation ago, my ancestor was part of a rebel group that occupied a vast area in North Vietnam. After the rebellion was suppressed, he and 10 other people founded the village. No wonder why many people in my family are martial artists! And they don’t practice some popular martial arts like Aikido or Karate. It’s a type of martial art passing down within the family. Isn’t that interesting?

I also reached out to some far cousins to ask for more information. Just a few days ago, I learned another of my ancestors was a famous scholar during his time. Several of books are still preserved by the Vietnam national academy of literature. Interestingly, his stories seemed to have been forgotten by my big family. About 10 years, when his writing started gaining attention from Vietnamese and foreign scholars due to its breakthrough ideas, one of a scholar decided to go trace his descendants for an interview.

I went to Google and tried to read everything about him that I could find on the internet. I learned he traveled from Vietnam to France in 1900 to attend the World Expo in Marseille and wrote a whole book about his journey and reflection on the people he met. I even found a painting of his team during that trip. Guess what, I got his eyebrows! Besides being a scholar, my ancestor was also a mandarin, a diplomat, and a teacher. When I became a high school teacher, my dad used to proudly tell everyone we had 4 generations of teacher in my family. My great grandfather, my grandfather, himself, and me. Now I know I was the 11th generations to continue that streak.

I feel so proud of my ancestors and whatever good things I inherited from them. Sometimes, I wonder if my great great great great grandfather also has bad attitude when he is hungry. I know my dad does. Since I owe to my daughter the idea of tracing back to my roots, I set my mind to collect as much information as I could.

When she is older, I can teach her about our roots, so she could look up and strive to be a great person.

Debi & Jeff Ko.’s Roast, Boast & Toast

Opening Remark:

Distinguished Toastmaster is the highest education award for a Toastmaster member. Nowadays, to achieve this level, you will need to complete two Pathways paths which consist of roughly 30 to 35 speeches. With the heritage program, which was no longer active after June 30 of this year, you will have to deliver 45 speeches and modules. Besides, in both programs, you are also required to fulfill several leadership requirements. In average, it takes somewhere between 4 to 20 years to finish this journey.

It is an achievement that you can truly be proud of. It is also a great honor to have a DTM in your club too. At Historically Speaking we have not one, not two, but 6 DTM’s, including the guy and the gal for whom we throw the party today, Debi Morales and Jeff Koford.

Jeff’s Roast

A lot of people seeking for an Area Director opportunity just to mark an item down on their list. But Jeff absolutely was not one of those. It was more like he was trying to make peace with his ex … organization. Jeff had a long relationship with Toastmasters in the past. I mean like years and years long. Then they suddenly broke up. He left.

Like anyone trying to earn back the faith, he was serious and determined this time. Despite his busy schedule, he would try to attend as many meetings as he could. One time, he was out of town for a business trip. We could see him lying on a hotel bed. I was not sure if he was giving a speech or snoring out loud. They technically sound the same.

Jeff loves supporting other members, especially Bruce. One time, when serving as the Toastmaster, he went ahead and enthusiastically covered like half of what Bruce was going to say in his Table Topic session. Another time, Jeff was the Contest Master for our speech contest, he generously introduced me as the winner before we even began. By the way, Bruce was the other contestant. At both times, he did not seem to be very happy with Jeff though.

Jeff, you joined and helped our club fulfill the last requirement for President’s Distinguished in 2019. As the Area Director, he coordinated our Zoom meetings and gave us the full support so we could be President’s Distinguished again this year. Having achieved the DTM, you still contribute to our club as a dedicating member and as a mentor for our newer member. Jeff, you are truly a treasure of Historically Speaking.

Debi’s Roast:

It is hard not to like Debi. She always writes everyone nice and encouraging notes whenever they give a speech or serve a major role. Just don’t talk to her about her DTM progress.

When I was the VPE for the back in 2015, I wanted to learn how far everyone was in Toastmasters education ladder, so I asked. Everyone answered my question, except Debi. I tried to ask her husband, Mike Morales. The day after, I heard he went to the emergency room because of a head concussion.

When TI announced they were planning to retire the heritage program, Debi promised she would get it done. All she needed was some time to “look through my stuffs to find the manuals and certificates”. I waited two years, still, nothing happened.

I started to become nosy. One day, she and Mike invited us to their home for dinner, I took the chance and offered to look through the stuffs for her. She reluctantly showed me the boxes she had in her garage, and in her shed, and all over the backyard. If you think giving 40 speeches is a tough job, imagine lifting 374 boxes and go through everything inside to find your papers.

Debi, I am glad you finally overcame your procrastination and did everything it took, including roasting your dad, to finish your DTM. You have always been supporting and encouraging to all of us. You totally deserve this honored recognition, and our respect for your dedication.

Area C-1, District F Int’l Contest – Apr. 2020

You Will Be Fine!

We are living in is such a crazy time. But as long as you are doing these two things, you will be fine. First, stock plenty of toilet papers. And second, stay away from Asians!

Mr. Contest Chair, fellow Shelter-in-place-master. Two months ago, Orange County just had its very first Covid-19 confirmed case. On a beautiful Sunday morning, my wife and I went to Saint Hedwig church in Los Alamitos. When it came to my favorite part, people wishing “peace be with you” to each other, I turned to hug my wife, then excitedly reached out to the old gentleman to my left to offer a handshake. He looked petrified. He bit his lips and tightened his grip for a long awkward moment. But finally, he took my hand for a brief handshake before getting a small hand-sanitizer from his pocket to clean his hand.

A few weeks ago, when government asked everyone to stay at home, I went to the supermarket to buy some grocery. After collecting everything, I lined up at the cashier counter, waiting for my turn. Suddenly, the man in front dropped the line, abandoned his groceries, including his two-pack of toilet papers, and walk all the way to the other side of the supermarket just so he could wait from the outside of the cashier.

Fellow Toastmasters, we are living in such a crazy time. Every day, we are soaked in negative news and stories like that. We get scared and feel frustrated. We are not fine! Fortunately, even though we cannot control how other people are reacting, we do have an option to interpret and respond to the situation in a positive way.

Instead of getting offended, I gave that man at the supermarket the benefit of doubt. How could I know if he was not having some precondition issues which made him vulnerable to the Coronavirus or he was taking care of someone who did? From his point of view, he just wanted to protect his health and. by practicing social distancing, he protected mine too.

Or what if I was already infected without a symptom? My inconsiderate handshake could bring a devastating consequence to the old gentleman at the church. He could have yelled at me. He could have ignored me. But he didn’t. I was so appreciative that he chose to accept it kindly. I was even more happy to see he was prepared to protect himself. You know what? I learned from that and bring my own hand-sanitizer wherever I go too!

My piece of advice for you. We are living in such a crazy time, but as long as you are doing these two things. First, stock plenty of toilet papers. And, second, stay positive. You will be fine! Mr. Contest Chair.

---

Update #1: I revised the speech and came 3rd at the Division level on Apr. 25. Here is the recording. If you have any feedback, please share!

Update #2: I shared this recording to my long time fellow Toastmasters, Thuy Nguyen. She called me at 11:00 pm to provide the a feedback. I just jot downs points for improvements.

1. I should have introduced a bit about the event in the opening. Instead of a generic introduction “we are living in such a crazy time”, a hint about the coronavirus pandemic with clarify it’s not about a mass shooting, the 9/11, or other disastrous event.
2. The TP joke was funny, but referring to it three times took away the humor. Having it again at the end was OK. But instead of putting it before the main message, switch it to the end and keep it humorous. In a previous draft, it was “stock just enough TP to keep you sleep well at night” (sic). Throwing that after the main message will create a more desirably lighthearted ending.
3. I should have emphasized more on my personal feeling. The old gentleman was petrified. The man at the supermarket hastily dropped the line. But what about me? Instead of just saying it was shocking, I could have elaborate it more. For example, “But what about me? It was such an insult. They should have put themselves on my shoes and consider my feeling when they do that.”
4. Though the “crazy time” and the “TP” circle back were great, the main message was quite obscured. What staying positive does to staying away from Asian people? How those two would relate to my title, “We Will Be Fine”. Thuy suggests to add some conversational content. For example, “I should have told the gentleman at the church “don’t worry, I’m not contagious. It is OK not to exchange a handshake if you are not comfortable. I also learn from you and will bring my own hand-sanitizer next time. So both you and I will be fine”

I am totally amazed of the high quality feedback I got from this 15-minute phone call. I wish I had brought this speech to her before the contest. Anyway, those are still precious improvement that I could apply to my future speech.

D.D. Diary: What People Said…

It is always very nice when other people recognize what you have been doing well, especially when it is a volunteer position.

“In my memory, Division C was never a strong Division . . . Minh, you have revoluntionized it!”
–Lauren Kelly, DTM PID

“This is the first time I ever see a Division Director to conduct an Officer Installation Ceremony without using note! . . . When the District started looking for candidates for the position next year, I thought to myself, “Repeat! Repeat! Repeat!”
–Jeff Lee, Education Award Chair

“You have been the very best mentor and I feel very lucky to have been under you this year.”
–Lisa Haney, Area C-4 Director

 

Humorous Speaking Manual

After I had just finished my Competent Communicator three years ago, I bought this Humorously Speaking book. The lady at the store probably heard my broken English. She looked at the book and looked me for a moment.

 

Then she could not help asking: “Are you sure you want to take this one? Do you know how hard it is to make people laugh?” “I do”, I responded, “Being a humorous speaker has always been my wildest dream and I hope this book will help.”

 

That lady had all the right to doubt my decision back then. Even I doubted it myself. I did read the book through before putting it in the bottom of my Toastmasters box for a long time.

 

A few months ago, it finally came to the time when I needed to pick the last manual for the Advanced Communicator Gold. Public Relation and Facilitating Discussion were the two topics I really liked, and the Storytelling was quite tempting. Though I had all those manuals ready, I never forgot my wildest dream, and challenge.

 

Last night, I delivered the very last speech in my home club and cracked people up with my own jokes. Last night, I finally saw my dream come true.

 

Many big THANKS to old and new faces of Historically Speaking Club #8860 for walking with me all the way through my 6-year-and-9-month Distinguished Toastmaster journey. Bigger THANKS to my lovely wife, Phạm Ngọc Nhi, the inspiration that keep me striving relentlessly for the next level. The biggest THANKS to Mike and Debi Morales for your mentorship and all the good times.