It was his just-myself birthday party. Though the day had been a couple days before, he decided to treat himself a tiny “party” to celebrate it. He drove to Wendy’s and ordered with his coupons. He was bewildered for some moments but then He had a descent meal. Since he had moved here, he often had trouble with ordering things.
He chose a seat at the window face to Beach Blvd. The place was a bit quiet. Just soft music and 2 or 3 more customers. Outside, he could see cars rushing without sound. And faraway was a filling station. Everything looked peaceful and leisurely. It reminded him about time in 301 Café, stand beside the busy world, enjoy music and drink, alone.
He used to think that he doesn’t have an ordinary life. He was always different from other people. He enjoyed an unconventional life style. But sometimes, he wondered whether he did like it, or he just lied to himself to self-fulfiil? After that, he always said to himself: You just try hard now, and you’ll get what you want later. But he couldn’t admit that he never felt lonely.
In his 24th birthday, away from his friends, his ordinary life and his place, he had some emotions. He saw another aspect of life. It was his most silent and lonely birthday ever. He didn’t even notice that it was coming even though he had had a lot of time. That’s the reason why he just celebrated it today. And the emotional moments may be the best present he got.
He enjoyed the food (chips, burger, diet coke and ketchup!) His stomach was better, at last. He always dreamed of having good health. He also observed people walking in and out. At first, there were a man with red face and dispirited. The man had sat there before he came and just left right before him. The next is a Mexican guy of whom he didn’t have good feeling. He started to think that this place is just for bad guys. The third is a gay man who came, ate rushly then left. After that was a silent period and only people that moving are the leisurely employees.
At that moment, he thought: actually, it was his desired life style. Have time to enjoy the life, relax with the music and foods, thinking of meaning of the life, don’t have to care about the future and have fun even though nobody can share with. And he realized his life that stand by the side of rush world is ordinary also, though not typical. There are still people who enjoyed the food in a small nice place without having to rush or be busy.
Eventually, life is simply life. It happens as it want (or God want, or government want, who knows) So just let it be. Don’t pay too much time to scare of the future. Do what you want and future will care of itself.
He drove back to home. It was nearly 7:00 PM but the sky is till so bright. For driving to the west, the sun illumiate upon him and his life. He recalled that he loved the sun because the sun stands for his self-image. He loved himself a lot. He loved his life a lot. That’s why he had lived and enjoyed it. It’s was such a happy and meaningful birthday. Thank himself.