Humorous speech contest: The Nature of Love
This is the script of my Toastmasters club humorous speech contest on September 10.
The Nature of Love
Good evening Mr. Toastmasters, fellow Toastmasters, and guest.
Do you know about “The Thinker”, a bronze and marble sculpture which illustrate a man sitting with a hand under his chin? And today million dollars question is: What is he thinking about and what does he sit on?
Let me tell you a secret, this wonderful sculpture was actually inspired by my famous theory, The Nature of Love. Look closer, you will realize two things. First, the man looks so blue because he is being dazed by the mysteries of love. Second, he is sitting on a toilette which convey a message about the relation between love and the restroom. And that’s what my theory about.
Think about this. Just like we do to the restroom, we all have a relentless demand for love. Some of us go for it many many times a day, while the others may hold for as longest as barely a week! But to healthy folks, once a day is the most popular and recommended schedule.
Because of this irresistable needs, most of us want at least one for our house. We are so reluctant to share it with our friends or neighbors. Not only for because of the hygiene matter, but also because of our unexpected urge to get fulfilled right away as well.
Moreover, we couldn’t help thinking about it many times a day, even when we are not at home. Staying long enough in a strange place, then we start looking for it. In my own experience, I would ask a waitress or a receptionist. But some people i know do pick whomever they see for this. It depends on the personality.
To mention about personality, it is fully expressed in the way we act in love, just as in restroom. And we’ll never really understand a person without considering about this.
Some of us are very serious and only walk-in when really need, while the others stop by casually and just for fun. That’s why love can be very easy-flowing to some and extremely solid to the others.
Some people are very shy, they make it secretly and silently; While the others love to be loudly with a lot of screaming and moaning. As the consequence, some end up with satisfaction shining on the faces, while the others suffered a lot by a long hurtful period with tears and blood.
This is such an easy way to find one’s style.
And due to this distinguish, people may have many different ways to conduct this process. And I have extract some rules from my own experience to help you avoid the mistakes and get the best from it.
Rule #1: It can be kind of troublesome if you thoughtlessly babble your own story to your friends. Some would be too curious, others may feel annoyed. But many of them may spread it to the whole world via Youtube or Facebook.
Rule #2: You’d better make it all by yourself. You may ask a friend’s help at your own risk. But it can lead to some unpredictably weird situation.
Rule #3: Always clean your hand and your personal part carefully, especially after doing it under the table, unless yo want to leave some obvious evidence about your bad.
Rule #4: Before you walk out, clean your mess so that the next person won’t be disturbed.
And the last rule: It is a natural process, so for the sake of God, don’t be forceful, aggressive, or abusive. What will be will be.
These rules really helped me, to go through my love without doubts and hurts. Since this moment, you can enjoy the most of your love as well as your restroom affair.
God bless the lovers. Thank you
Minh V. Le