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Humorous speech contest: The Nature of Love

This is the script of my Toastmasters club humorous speech contest on September 10.

The Nature of Love

Good evening Mr. Toastmasters, fellow Toastmasters, and guest.

Do you know about “The Thinker”, a bronze and marble sculpture which illustrate a man sitting with a hand under his chin? And today million dollars question is: What is he thinking about and what does he sit on?

Let me tell you a secret, this wonderful sculpture was actually inspired by my famous theory, The Nature of Love. Look closer, you will realize two things. First, the man looks so blue because he is being dazed by the mysteries of love. Second, he is sitting on a toilette which convey a message about the relation between love and the restroom. And that’s what my theory about.

Think about this. Just like we do to the restroom, we all have a relentless demand for love. Some of us go for it many many times a day, while the others may hold for as longest as barely a week! But to healthy folks, once a day is the most popular and recommended schedule.

Because of this irresistable needs, most of us want at least one for our house. We are so reluctant to share it with our friends or neighbors. Not only for because of the hygiene matter, but also because of our unexpected urge to get fulfilled right away as well.

Moreover, we couldn’t help thinking about it many times a day, even when we are not at home. Staying long enough in a strange place, then we start looking for it. In my own experience, I would ask a waitress or a receptionist. But some people i know do pick whomever they see for this. It depends on the personality.

To mention about personality, it is fully expressed in the way we act in love, just as in restroom. And we’ll never really understand a person without considering about this.

Some of us are very serious and only walk-in when really need, while the others stop by casually and just for fun. That’s why love can be very easy-flowing to some and extremely solid to the others.

Some people are very shy, they make it secretly and silently; While the others love to be loudly with a lot of screaming and moaning. As the consequence, some end up with satisfaction shining on the faces, while the others suffered a lot by a long hurtful period with tears and blood.

This is such an easy way to find one’s style.

And due to this distinguish, people may have many different ways to conduct this process. And I have extract some rules from my own experience to help you avoid the mistakes and get the best from it.

Rule #1: It can be kind of troublesome if you thoughtlessly babble your own story to your friends. Some would be too curious, others may feel annoyed. But many of them may spread it to the whole world via Youtube or Facebook.

Rule #2: You’d better make it all by yourself. You may ask a friend’s help at your own risk. But it can lead to some unpredictably weird situation.

Rule #3: Always clean your hand and your personal part carefully, especially after doing it under the table, unless yo want to leave some obvious evidence about your bad.

Rule #4: Before you walk out, clean your mess so that the next person won’t be disturbed.

And the last rule: It is a natural process, so for the sake of God, don’t be forceful, aggressive, or abusive. What will be will be.

These rules really helped me, to go through my love without doubts and hurts. Since this moment, you can enjoy the most of your love as well as your restroom affair.

God bless the lovers. Thank you

Minh V. Le


Toastmaster Speech #1: Icebreaker

I just presented my first speech in Toastmaster Club this Monday. The experience is wonderful, and I am longing for coming ones. Hey Communication Competent certificate, here I goooooooo

Turning Points

Monday,  June 25th, 2012
Historical Club, Seal Beach 

Good evening Madam Toastmaster, fellow Toastmaster, and honored guest. My name is Minh Le, Minh ends with an ‘h’, and Le only has one ‘e’. I was born, and grown up in Saigon. It’s a beautiful city after which the Little Saigon is named today.

I used to be a geek who spent nine years of my life learning to become a programmer. I won a lot of regional and national awards from programming contests since middle school. At my graduation, when my professors told me that I was going to be a successful programmer and make a lot of money, I decided that it’s time to stop talking the machinery language and make a turning point.

I applied at the high school, in which I had studied, as a teacher. In that first and only year of teaching, I was paid $100/month salary for 9 months of school year. I had about 500 students in 11 classes to take care of who taught me how to enjoy the life which I had sacrificed for the computer for so many years.I learned to make boring computer classes become fun with games and jokes. I discussed with the kids about school life. I hung around with them a lot afterschool. We ate at street vendors and sang karaoke.

For I looked younger than my age and often joined with the students, people mistook me quite frequently. I was scolded by the school’s supervisor or other teachers for not wearing uniform countless times. I always remember how funny they look when they realized who I really am.

Once in a while, I thought my life would be “happily ever after”. But one day, my mom called me home and said: “Boy, it’s time to pack your stuffs. We gonna move to America”. “Why? I don’t want to”, I yelled out loud like a little baby. But she just ignored me like she always did. 3 months later, I found myself in Orange County.

My life turned to another new page again. The English I had learned is actually the British English from early ‘80s which sounds weird here. Neither I could understand other people, nor could they get what I said. I went to ESL class, and then took a communication class in Golden West College, but all I can get is a handful of Vietnamese friends who could not speak English as well.

One day, while I was killing my time by watching clips on youtube. I found a Vietnamese in America’s got talent show. He performed a one-man comedy. Though he was out, he did get good comments from judges. And that guy really woke me up. I never thought that a person who only started speaking English since adulthood can get the sense of humor, which is the key in building relationships.

After that moment, I believed that there must be some way to solve my problem, I just haven’t found it yet. I started doing some research and asking everybody for one. Eventually, I found our club. After joining for a couple days, I know that my life’s third turning point is happening.

Now, I believe that with our wonderful program, my broken English can be polished to become a crystal sphere someday.  I believe that I can become a distinguish toastmaster in the next five years.

Madam Toastmaster, fellow Toastmaster, I beg for all your essential support to help my dream come true.

Thank you.

And here are the comments that I got from other people:

Mike: Great speech! Please watch the timing clock – you had good vocal variation and eye contact. Your teaching experience really helped. [Time: 6’53”, unqualified for overtime :'( ]

Debi: Absolutely excellent! Your “turning points” title was a great choice. And through the speech you built momentum and ended with passion. Only thing to improve is the ESL sentence structure! Great job!

Bruce: Great 1st speech. Great show of confidence and pose. Great story. Awesome job!

Wilma: I could understand everything you said. Your English is good. I believe you will become a DTM. Organization was good.

Willand: You look so comfortable speaking. good pace, volume and pitch. we got to know you. you are an interesting person. you are well on your was as a good speaker. I understand your speech.

Fred: A very interesting speech, well done. You seemed very confident as you spoke. You illustrated your topic also very well.

No name: That was great!!! I really enjoyed the description of your turning points –> You have great speech.

No name: Minh – wonderful speech. you were fantastic!!!

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